The “Twelve” Apostles are a complete shermozzle! The road is chockers, selfie-sticking tourists are clambering over the safety rails and eroding our precious Native Limestone, and the visitor centre’s dunnies are overflowing! What a stressful place!

Any Victorian with sense knows to avoid the Apostles like a penguin parade down Lygon Street. There’s far more serenity to be had at nearby Princetown.  It’s got a rec reserve where you can camp, a fair dinkum general store, and this muted, earthy public toilet design—guaranteed to soothe the savage beast.

While we expect that a visit to any public dunny should burnish the soul of any Australian, it is only the rarest of loos that manage to continue (and indeed improve) this invigoration after you step outside. In other words, look at this bloody view!

Hot tip: once you’ve had your fill of serenity, ditch the Great Ocean Road for the nearby Old Ocean Road. If the corrugations don’t massage your cares away, the natural splendour will.