Half discus and half javelin, the borrie-toss was once a popular sport in the less scrupulous city-states of Ancient Greece, but never regained favour in the modern Olympics, probably because the varied diets of the many nations involved made it difficult to standardise the playing equipment.
Luckily the good people of Violet Town have kept alive this ancient tradition by erecting this fine pictogram-style mural at the entrance to the Violet Town Public Toilet and Olympic Precinct (sometimes known as the rec reserve).
Violet Town is a lovely place, even beyond this solid, earthy-toned facility. The town’s wide, quiet streets are named for flowers, which explains the friendly locals—it’s impossible to live on Daisy Street and be a respectable school bully, and so the whole town from an early age has said bugger it, let’s just be nice.
On the rare occasion that a troublemaker blows in from out of town, this dunny (on Tulip Street, for those taking notes) doubles as a police lock-up. Here the accused will sit and contemplate the error of their ways until they meet the local criteria for bail—which is, of course, to complete a borrie-toss down the entire length of Iris Lane.
Once a month I travel from Wentworth to Melbourne via Wodonga. I usually stop off at Violet Town for a quick number 3 (that’s 1s and 2s at the same time). Initially I used the public can but a mate put me onto a couple of other options. The V-Line dunny has better bog roll and is never busy. (Can get noisy when a train goes past though). The bowling club is also a good place for a dump. They use Caprice 3 ply and you can usually sneak in undetected. I got caught once but pretended to be from Bowls Victoria HQ on my way to Benalla to investigate the meat tray incident. The mate also gave me a good tip that should work anywhere in Violet Town if you get stopped. Just say you’re related to the Hoopers and you’ll be laughing.
Surely the train rolling through is the ideal time to be in there! Very similar to Shawshank Redemption, where he’s doing a number on the plumbing during the thunderstorm.
Anyway these are bloody great tips, it must be difficult taking time away from all those press conferences so I really appreciate this Mr Premier. Good to see you getting your behind behind the local bowlo as well!